Choose wisely.

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1

Level 1: Nabih Berri

You have been in this relationship for years and you will alway be, no matter what.

2

Level 2: Saad Hariri

You live here and he lives abroad. He always promises you that he’s coming back for good, but every time he visits, his boss calls him and asks him to come back.

3

Level 3: Aoun and Nasrallah

You are both emotionally committed to one another, but are both free to sleep with other people. Usually, it ends up with a break up.

 

4

Level 4: Hariri and Frangieh

You both don’t know how you got here, but you also know it will come to an end at some point.

 

5

Level 5: Geagea and Aoun

You probably discovered that he’s having an affair, so you decided to have one of your own with his archenemy, i.e. Rebound.

 

6

Level 6: The Lebanese Parliament

You are basically friends. You go out in public together and you like the same activities. Sometimes, it’s a colleague of yours at work.  But you occasionally meet for sex, goalless sex.

7

Level 7: Tawlit el 7iwar

You’re not friends but you still meet, on occasions, to f*ck. Usually, nothing good or useful comes out of it. Well, one thing comes… at least.

 

8

Level 8: Lebanese President.

You’re single AF. Your love life in non-existent. Sorry bro.

 

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7 types of commenters on my latest satirical post

Yesterday, I posted this “satirical” photo on my page to voice a message through a joke about some kids nowadays who can’t express themselves in Arabic language as their parents only communicate with them in French and/or English.

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The post was bombarded with comments that were hilarious, to say the least. And here are the 7 types of comments and commenters I have received.

1.The believers.

If you have never visited the page before, consider yourself forgiven (to some extent). But if you have, may God be with you.

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2. The Sherlock Holmes who revealed it was photoshopped

First of all, thanks guys. The photo was edited on a mobile app and not on photoshop. Thinking it’s photoshop is an honor.

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3. The advanced Sherlock Holmes.

Using google photos and shit.

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4. The supporters of the beating mom.

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5. The women’s rights activists.

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6. The one who thinks I’m the CNN.

For God’s sake, my name is Mawtoura and I have a cartoon logo!

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7. The people who actually get it. (Thanks)

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9 reasons why Tripoli has more potential than Beirut

I am sure many of you are wondering why am I publishing such a post on Mawtoura. I’m angry! I have always been angry witnessing such a great city with great potentials getting dismantled, for years, by its own politicians who happen to be one of the richest men on the planet.

I am not from there but I live close by, and this city had always held a special place in my heart. With the right people in charge, which could happen tomorrow in the municipal elections, the city can restore its potentials and place it back on the tourism map locally and internationally, and here’s why:

1. You can walk end to end.

Tripoli is small, flat and the majority of the streets run parallel to each other, so you can practically park you car and walk the entire city. You can also use a cab which is very cheap. Isn’t this what we do when we travel?

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2. While walking, you can enjoy its wide variety of authentic food.

Whether you like salty or sweet, Tripoli offers a wide range of authentic food in its restaurants or street carts. You cannot simply miss them!

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3. Old Souks just like the ones you are astonished with when you are abroad.

Yes people, Tripoli has the largest old souks in Lebanon.

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4. Turkish bath houses / Hammams

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5. An international exhibition center.

Triploli is the house of “Rashid Karame International exhibition center”, one of the five biggest centers in the world in terms of dimensions and variety of constructions”. This center, if handled right, could bring fortunes to this poor city.

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6. Traditional mosques and churches.

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7. A huge citadel

Built in 1308, the citadel de Raymond de Saint-Gilles overlooks the entire city and have a breathtaking view.

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8. Beaches and islands.

Apart from the different beaches and resorts, Tripoli has few islands that you can actually go to and enjoy your day. The Rabbit island, one of the most famous ones, has crystal clear water and sand beaches, and you can enjoy a wide variety of water sports and activities.

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9. It’s cheap!

You can literally have breakfast, lunch and dinner, smoke shisha, and go to the beach for under 30,000 LL.

photos courtesy of www.lebanonuntravelled.com

12 signs you are gracefully over 30 in Lebanon

1- You accepted the fact that “Remi Bandali” is a fully grown woman now.

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2- You can recognize those two cuties.

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3- You still call Fadi Ibrahim “Nader Sabbagh”

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4- Your Facebook timeline is basically a list of your friends’ baby pictures.

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5- You spend half the time in the movie theater saying ‘Shhhh’ to the annoying teens behind you.

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6- Watching “The voice kids” instead of going out on a Saturday night sounds like a good plan.

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7- But in case you decide to hit any of the bars in Hamra, you probably wish you have a remote control to lower volume of the music. It’s just noise anyways.

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8- That’s why, you upgraded yourself from Mar Mkhayel to Badaro.

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9- Yet, your stomach doesn’t handle dinner, drinks and garlic at “Barbar” afterwards, anymore.

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10- You buy VIP tickets for Armin Van Buuren’s concert in BIEL because they’re seated. Wait, Armin ba3do derij?

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11- Your bed time prayer is no longer for your crush to text you back ,but rather for the traffic from Jounieh to Dora to be bearable the next morning.

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12- You are able to differentiate between Madona and Aida Abu Jaoude. Congrats!

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