“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my mother”, Abraham Lincoln. Happy Mother’s day!
1- Hoovers on Saturday at 8:00 AM.
Whether she’s a working mom or stay-at-home mom, saturday morning seems like the perfect time for her to vacuum the carpets of your room, and it has to be at 8 AM.
2- “Airing” the house every morning, even in winter.
“Brace yourselves, winter is coming” isn’t just an expression from Games of Thrones. It’s an experience we have to endure every morning when we wake up and we find all doors and windows of the house open just because the house needs “tehweyé”.
3- Threatening us to get good grades.
It’s like she collects our grades and sells them in the black market or exchanges them for gold. I never understood why getting 20/20 is so important for her and getting 16/20 is such a failure.
4- We are all “Managers” in front of her neighbors.
You could still be a freshmen student who just got his first student job as an office boy, but your mom is telling her neighbors you’re the vice president of the university. Cute!
5- Tagging old photos of you on Facebook.
If you have your mom on Facebook, you know what I am talking about. She takes blurry photos of her old paper albums, uploads them and tags you! Hooray!
6-Asking us if we need money even when we’re 40 and married.
That’s not actually annoying at all. I love this.
7-Thinking we’re abducted by ISIS if we don’t answer the phone.
If she calls you and you don’t answer within the first 30 seconds, it’s either you’re dead or abducted by a terrorist group. Expect another 10 calls and 5 whatsapp messages.
8- Accusing you of speeding when you’re going 10 km/hr
If you ever had your mom next to you while driving, you’re probably saying “ugh” right now. I could be literally going 10 Km/hour, stuck in traffic, and she still thinks I’m speeding. Not to mention the “Sheel el telephone min eedak!”
9- Watching cooking shows but never applying them.
Whether she’s watching chef Antoine, chef Ramzi, Teta latife, or even that molecular gastronomy cooking shit on MTV in the morning, you’re eating Mjadra and kebbé for lunch.
10-Organizing/hiding your stuff and forgets their place.
How many USBs have you lost because your mom “organized” your drawers? The funny part is that when you face her, she’s like “Wasn’t me!”.