Lebanese Influencers Crisis: no more regular people left to influence.

In a shocking statement, Instagram officials have declared an influencers crisis in Lebanon. “90% of Lebanese Instagram accounts are now business profiles for personal trainers, life coaches, fashionistas, bloggers, vloggers, influencers, and digital media trainers“, said Kevin Systrom, CEO and co-founder of Instagram. The remaining 10% of the accounts are now occupied by regular people who have average bodies and looks, with a bad taste in clothing and restaurant choices. This decline has left influencers with no one to influence now.

influencer_sara

I am barely getting 100 likes per post. It’s frightening to see that all your hard work is not influencing anyone, Sara, a fashionista from Beirut, who takes photos of herself shopping at Zara and Bershka and posts them to her Instagram page, has told Mawtoura.

influencer_jony

Johny, a travel and food blogger who photoshops and saturates all his photos to a point where Lebanon looks like Pandora from Avatar, has also complained about the crisis: “Hotels stopped contacting me and I am not getting free food anymore. I am really afraid I would starve in few weeks.

influencer_gym

Ali, a fitness influencer, had more than 20K followers on Instagram, who eagerly waited his daily selfies at the gym and motivational quotes. “No one cares about my Insta stories anymore. Also, I am running out of google quotes“, he said. Ali is thinking about de-activating his account but he’s worried that his followers might be shocked and depressed later.

 

Funniest comments on the OTV miss summer post

Yesterday, I posted a video (link) about the abundance of titles in miss and mister summer 2017 on OTV, and the followers comments were hilarious.

New titles were suggested

newtitles

Some of them fit me perfectly

same

Leish el kezeb ya mama, Leish?

yaraytikma7ite

No one left unhappy, including the audience. Thanks OTV.

nowaste

 

Horny followers of course

horny

Byekhla2 fashionista min batn immo

classy

This Puntastic conversation

convo_miss

 

And the winner is

otvmistake

Google Traffic to add a new “black” color specially for Lebanon

On August 25, Google’s CEO, Sundar Pichai, announced exciting news for our beloved Lebanon. A new color for Google Traffic is heading towards the Google Maps app and it’s going to be a majestic “black”.

For those who are unfamiliar with Google Traffic, the app uses colors to indicate the traffic conditions ranging from green (fast) to orange (okay) to red (slower) to dark red (slow).

“We wanted something more meaningful than just ‘slow‘, to truly describe the situation in Lebanon. So we decided to add the black color and we labeled it fucking blocked“, added Pichai.

You can check the old and the new interface down below.

Congratulations Lebanon!

Old interface

mapsold

New Interface

mapsnew

 

موعد عرض الجزء الثاني من أمير الليل

amirpart2

Mawtoura Exclusive Mawtoura Exclusive  Mawtoura Exclusive Mawtoura ExclusiveMawtoura Exclusive Mawtoura Exclusive Mawtoura Exclusive Mawtoura Exclusive  Mawtoura Exclusive Mawtoura ExclusiveMawtoura Exclusive Mawtoura Exclusive

[ حصري لموتورة ]

😂  اه عنجد كبست لتعرف ايمتى الجزء الثاني؟

هل قد مهتم؟ ما في جزء ثاني الحمدلله

 

Lebanese entertainment shows hits and misses in 2016

aaa

It is time, ladies and gentlemen, to lay down the final judgment on this year entertainment shows on Lebanese channels.

After a survey conducted over a long period (15 minutes), involving thousands of people (me), we got the final results. Here are the hits and misses of 2016, in my opinion.

Best (not necessarily in order)

1. Lahon w Bas (LBC)

The whole show works. Hisham and Jad make a perfect duo on screen, due to their off-screen friendship, natural sense of humor, and good stand-up comedy skills. Guests seem to enjoy the interview and Hisham always succeeds in making them feel home, shedding the light on their cute and funny side. I even enjoyed Maguy Bou Ghosn’s interview.

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2. Menna w Jerr (MTV)

I love this show. Pierre Rabbat is probably “the” guy you go to when you want to buy a format and execute it in Lebanon. The co-hosts are doing their jobs right, especially Mona Saliba and Rola kaady. I even enjoy Ghassan Rahbani’s lame jokes. But the real star of the show is probably Elie Sleiman.

mennawjerr

3.Hayda Taba3 el akhbar (Al Jadeed)

When smart meets funny. This show is basically a history-politics class delivered with smart humor and extensive research put into each and every episode.

haydataba3

4.Metl al amar and Amir el Leil (MTV and LBC)

Yes, they are crappy series, full of mistakes, bad acting, and lame storylines, but hey, that’s what makes them GREAT entertainment shows! Thank you for making 2016 enjoyable.

amir_amar

Worst

1. Bala Teshfir (Al Jadeed)

Tammam Bleik should be banned from TV. His questions and interviewing approach stopped being interesting in 1992. Regarding his guests, eskot ya lsani…

bala-tachfir

2.Hayda Haki (MTV)

Adel Karam is a great actor, but he failed as a late night show host. Successful hosts might suck in acting as well. Maybe it’s time to take a break. Even the new additions, Adele and co, couldn’t save the show from sinking into a lame 2-hour trip.

adel

3. Basmat Watan (the new format)

Copying Abla Fahita was not a smart move. The old format was better, wittier and funnier. While doma kratiyé, created by the same person, is brilliant, Basmat watan fails to deliver this season, let alone the racist jokes.

basmat

4. Take me out Na2ashit (LBC)

The show’s idea is not bad itself. I find it entertaining. The execution however, is disastrous. Sexual jokes stopped being funny in 2002. Sexism is not funny. The staged performances of Fouad Yammine, the girls, and the guys are ridiculous.

takemeout

Choose wisely.

meme

1

Level 1: Nabih Berri

You have been in this relationship for years and you will alway be, no matter what.

2

Level 2: Saad Hariri

You live here and he lives abroad. He always promises you that he’s coming back for good, but every time he visits, his boss calls him and asks him to come back.

3

Level 3: Aoun and Nasrallah

You are both emotionally committed to one another, but are both free to sleep with other people. Usually, it ends up with a break up.

 

4

Level 4: Hariri and Frangieh

You both don’t know how you got here, but you also know it will come to an end at some point.

 

5

Level 5: Geagea and Aoun

You probably discovered that he’s having an affair, so you decided to have one of your own with his archenemy, i.e. Rebound.

 

6

Level 6: The Lebanese Parliament

You are basically friends. You go out in public together and you like the same activities. Sometimes, it’s a colleague of yours at work.  But you occasionally meet for sex, goalless sex.

7

Level 7: Tawlit el 7iwar

You’re not friends but you still meet, on occasions, to f*ck. Usually, nothing good or useful comes out of it. Well, one thing comes… at least.

 

8

Level 8: Lebanese President.

You’re single AF. Your love life in non-existent. Sorry bro.